LONGMONT – President of MY Wealth Planners, Daniel Yerger, has announced that MY Wealth Planners will become Longmont’s 135th Commission-Only Financial Product Firm. “We’ve realized that fee-only is a bit too pure and conflict-free for our fiscal needs. There are dozens of mega-firms in our area who are raking in enormous profits selling life insurance, annuities, and front-loaded investment products to their customers without doing the heavy lifting of financial planning, and it seems to be working great for them. Not to mention, with revenue sharing opportunities, we can get paid by the product companies to identify what products we should sell our clients. Our whole job really just becomes wearing ties and playing golf.”
Some community members were baffled at the announcement. “I thought real financial planning involved disclosing and avoiding conflicts of interest. I became a client of the firm because I thought fee-only planning was the best way to get more objective financial advice.” Said one client under the condition of anonymity.
“We will be exclusively pivoting to the sale of Class A mutual funds from America, Indexed Universal Life, or as I like to call it, ‘The Mega Cash Delux Supreme,’ and individual stock picking, for which we’ll get paid a fat commish.” Said Yerger when asked about the sudden change in business model. When asked about whether this change is in the best interest of clients, Yerger said, “Baby, we’re going straight to the moon.” Whether Yerger had suffered from brain damage at the time of this interview is unconfirmed.
In other news, Tax Preparers report that they are feeling completely mentally well and report zero stress: “It really is the easiest and best job in the world to be a tax preparer. All the extra regulations and compliance work that have been shoved into the tax return over the past decade have not only increased job security, but work-life balance satisfaction. The looming deadline of April 15th has never felt more comfortably far away.”
Happy April 1st, folks.
Comments 8
You skunk! I read over the first paragraphs several times trying to understand what just didn’t seem right. You had me going! P
As always, I’m enjoying the humor and learning a thing or two along the way.
Fischer here we come!!
Well, you did have me there for about a New York minute.
Happy Day to you and the Team!
Ha Ha!
Whew! You had us wondering for a minute there! A great April Fools to you! : )
You had me going (leaving) for a quick minute, ha, ha
. Gave me a much needed laugh.
Nice April Fool’s. Love the sarcasm! Great comment Dad & Mom! I see where Daniel get’s his humor from. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.